Writing is so weird in the way that when someone first finds out you write, they feel obligated to react. If you casually mention that you read books, hoard cats, or like collecting Disney key-chains, your fellow family and friends won’t bat an eye, but when you mention you write, there is that awkward moment when they try to say something creative. Instead, what is usually said is one of…
10 Things You Should Never Say to a Writer
1. I’d like to write a book too if I wasn’t just so darned busy.
Yeah, because I just have all the time in the world and fitting in my writing time is a piece of cake. Hey, let’s all go watch the Kardashians together!
2. Oh, you wrote a book? How cute.
You’re right. It’s cute that I spent hours away from my family taking this idea for a novel and suffering through rewrite after rewrite, sometimes for years, and with no guarantee of every having any payoff whatsoever. Very cute. I’m going to go ride away on my pink pony now.
3. I’m thinking about becoming a writer when I retire.
Awesome, I’m thinking about becoming an astronaut when I retire.
4. Where do you get your ideas?
For once and for all, here is where every writer gets their ideas. They sit at their computer and force–like, literally force–themselves to put words on the page. Sometimes it’s painful. But when you force yourself to write, ideas just come with it. Some are awesome and some are terrible. It’s more of a trial and error thing than anything else.
5. I bet you just hate the Twilight books.
No, I’m not typically a jealous person. You shouldn’t be either.
6. Don’t quit your day job.
Don’t insult me. If you don’t like my writing, either tell me why you don’t like it and how I can improve it, or keep your mouth shut.
7. You write horror (or whatever genre you choose). Eww.
Remind me to come to where you work and insult your industry…
8. Well, it’s not like you have to write every day…
Yes I do. Sorry, we can go out drinking or whatever after I hit my word count goal.
9. Can you give me and my friends free copies of your books?
Not until after I’m done fixing your computer for free. (If your day job is in IT, you understand.)
10. Let me tell you about this dream I had. It would make a great book…
No! No! No! (Covering my ears.)
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I’m sure you’ve heard most of these and probably a dozen more, but there’s no shame in doing the occasional silly list, right?
What are a few other things we could add to the list? Leave a comment and share!
This is the one I got the other day at my job. “I used to write, when I was in school.”
Nice one. Ask why they stopped.